When Faith Gets Tired

"When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost..."

- Lyrics from "We Dance", Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger

The last few days, weeks, even months have been filled with such a deep joy in understanding who I am in Christ, and the beauty of the promise and the plans he has for me. Yesterday was the climax, buoyed by the joy that comes from cooler weather and the first fruits of New England fall.

I don't know what happened today.

I normally wouldn't blog about having a rough day, but over the past few weeks, I've had conversations with people who have been discouraged. Today, I just want you to know that for all that I believe that God is good and God has a plan and the deepest joy in our lives comes from bringing glory to him, I'm just with you in the discouragement and the fatigue of fighting the lies I believed all my life.

For the past few months, I've been focused on "setting my mind on the things of the Spirit" (paraphrase from Romans 8). For years and years, I believed a lot of lies about myself that I used to build up a wall of protection because I didn't really trust God enough to protect me in those areas of deep vulnerability. Today, the lies started creeping back in and it's been a battle. Even when we know the truth, it feels like it just takes so much effort to be focused on the truth of a God who at times is much more intangible than physically present.

I don't have any deep answers today. All I can say is that I've been listening to this song on repeat:
We Dance

"When my faith gets tired and my hope seems lost,
You spin me round and around and remind of that song,
The one you wrote for me...

And we dance."