See a couple in front of you holding hands? I have no one to hold hands with.
Wedding invite? No one will ever love me that way.
New baby being born? I will probably never have kids. I'm going to die without anyone to visit me in the old folks home.
Instagram / Facebook date nights and Man Crush Monday? Everyone else is totally in love and has the perfect life.
If you're paying attention, there is barely a moment that goes by that doesn't remind us that we are all alone in the world. :'(
Someone sent me a blog a few weeks ago, and as I started reading it, I was amazed at how well the blogger described singleness and the challenges of singleness. The circumstances of his singleness are very different than the circumstances of my singleness, but I found myself just eating up how well he described the frustration of it all.
Until I realized how depressing that is.
Every moment we are faced with an opportunity to be discouraged. Life does not have a shortage on disappointments and challenges. And we are "wronged" constantly. If you don't believe me, just go to a busy street and try to cross at a crosswalk.
(First World Problems)
If you want to be a victim and feel like the world has wronged you, you will always have some sort of "proof" to justify this position.
But isn't that kind of miserable?
A few weeks ago, I was getting ready for work in the gym and surrounded by mirrors at every angle. (Side note: why do gyms have mirrors everywhere AND terrible lighting?!?) I caught a glimpse of my less-than-skinny arms in the mirror and just cringed. "I hate my body" just slipped into my mind accompanied by a deep sigh of frustration.
And then I caught it.
Wait a minute.
I had just finished my workout where my trainer put me through the rigor of throwing things and lifting things and oh-so-many of the dreaded planks and squats and lunges. My body is strong, and injury free, and so I am in the process of getting stronger. I have two strong legs that can walk wherever my feet will take me. And run, too. Even a full 27.2 miles once (26.2 for the marathon and another mile for running around people)... And I decided I hated it because my arms didn't look how I wanted them to?!?
I made a different decision in that moment: gratitude.
I started a list of things that I was thankful for about my body. Things like what I referenced above: that I was free of injuries and that it allowed me to run and walk. Shallow things like the definition of my calf muscles and the fact that my ears don't stick out.
We are constantly talking to ourselves, and WE are in control of what we say. We are in control of what we say in the moment and we are in control over what habits we allow to build about what we tell ourselves.
Paul addresses this reality when he tells the Corinthians to "take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5b NIV) He further expounds on this concept in the entire book of Philippians, which was written from prison, and yet is a book completely focused on joy. He sums the book up in Philippians 4:11, saying "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." The entire book of Philippians, in fact, gives us a blueprint for joy:
- Chapter 1: the gospel - living it and sharing it
- Chapter 2: community - dying to self
- Chapter 3: perspective - nothing matters but knowing Christ
- Chapter 4: decision - choosing where to focus our thoughts
As believers, we have more reason than anyone to choose joy and gratitude. We have an unwavering hope that the best is yet to come.
It sounds so easy, and yet it can be overwhelmingly hard. I definitely still struggle to choose joy and gratitude and find myself constantly going down a bad path. I hear myself telling myself terrible, discouraging messages on an all-too-frequent basis.
But. I will never end that cycle until I stop and choose joy.
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